Learning the error of my ways

'It's very provoking,' Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke, 'to be called an egg — very!'

'I said you looked like an egg, Sir,' Alice gently explained. 'And some eggs are very pretty, you know,' she added, hoping to turn her remark into a sort of compliment.

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

So yesterday the Acting Director, acting on advice from the Assistant Director ambled over to my neck of the sump pool where I toil at one of Australia’s almost universally despised federal agencies and said rather sharply: “The Acting Assistant Secretary will meet with us shortly”.

Acting Director had a curious look on her face that suggested brooding trouble. We must meet. We have something to discuss. You may bring someone along as witness. Gallows?

 Of course, my usual buoyancy was temporarily punctured by this triple decker onslaught from the doyens of authority. It was a bit like getting smacked with a Triple Decker when you distinctly ordered a Quarter Pounder at the drive through. 

What the fuck is going on? I ask myself quietly as I ponder the landscape of public servants busily furrowing away in purgatory, paying attention only with their ears as the devil played merrily on the merry-go-round.

The eternal optimist within advises that my humble work station may soon be elevated to some assistant shit-carrier elsewhere in this vast empire where push is to shove like toilet is to you know what.

Or so I think. At last my talents have been recognized no less; rewarded. Perhaps a stint as a baton carrying officer at the airport or a tazer wielding malingerer on maritime patrol. The options are endless. What about an island sojourn in a distant land far from prying eyes, Glock 17 packed for safety purposes only.

This self-congratulatory homage is but temporary. Quickly smashed when I ask for a heads-up. So what’s the fuss all about?

Well, old trooper you have been reported for language unbecoming in modern society, I am advised.

Some not-so-nubile young thing with cat-like claws on the greasy pole of job promotion opportunity has reported that you, yes you old 62-year-old savage and Jedi Master to Princess Ruby, Princess Ari, Princess Charlie and Princess Abbi -- you have used disgustingly offensive and inappropriate language. Unfunny! Disgusting!

You have caused offence. Not-so-nubile young thing’s thin-skinned veil of hypocrisy has been shattered by your oafish indifference to genteel sophistry. Shylock is almost mortally offended. Bleeding from the lip and busting at the muffin.  Bring out the sugar water. Calm the nerves. Batten down the hatches, the cavalry is coming.

OK so let’s recap. Just before I left my place of toil for greener pastures some nights ago, not-so-nubile inquired whether there were important matters on the agenda.

Not at all, I ventured, I watch Foxtel most nights and if it’s not Barcelona, MSN (meaning in other words Messi, Suarez and Neymar) doing magic then I remain vaguely disinterested. Otherwise it’s reality shows. Jerry Springer where are you now that I need you most of all?

No need to tell this little dark dork that my prostate is squeezing the crap out of my piss, and even less need to share the secrets of intimate personal dysfunction so irate to every man over 60 and some, more sadly, just a touch over 40. So, for as bit of amusement I advised smartly: “Aw, I’m just going home and maybe I’ll smack the wife in the head”.

Wrong move funny guy!

Anyway to celebrate 40 years of marriage we are on our way in a couple of weeks to Spain, Portugal, Morocco and Dubai and Abu Dhabi and a brief flit through Jordan and check out Petra for a bit of R&R. On the way through we will pop in at Cape Town before heading back home. Not a smack in the head in sight.

So folks no more shit talk in the new year. Always be politically correct. 

Happy New Year 2018 to all my friends and readers and stuff those who can’t handle a joke.

Some old fashioned pearls of wisdom

Before I even realized it, I was old.

Not that I ever spent much time worrying about it. After all this was a work in progress.

But when all those job applications started returning with soppy messages of thanks but no thanks, a little bell went off in the back of my head.

And,  it was just a few months later when the messages of hope dried up completely, only to be replaced by a more sinister experience, that I sat up and took real notice. The emails of hope were all sliding off an imaginary cliff, never to be seen or heard of again.

Something odd was happening here, I told myself.

Never mind here was a strapping ball of energy that could bench press 120kg without raising a drop of sweat. Run 10km in just over 40 minutes and walk a treadmill slyly perched at an acute angle while carrying sixteen kilograms of lead in an ex-army adjustable weight pack. Surely, at 62 this sounds impressive.

And you should hear what shit this bloke can talk. A mercurial mind that ticks over faster than a 22-year-old. OK that might be a bit of exaggeration but still.

Fit as a fiddle and sharp as a proverbial tack. With two Masters degrees tucked away and a doctorate thrown in for good measure, decades of international experience and a shiny Qatar Airlines Gold frequent flyer membership to prove the status of worldly travel, why wouldn’t prospective employers give him a second glance?

Good question.

You are holding up the queue of talented young minds coming through, old boy. You are blocking the pipes of production.

On the scale of economics you are a burden on the wage bill. Move over and out fuddy duddy. There’s a blockage up ahead and you’re causing it. Get out of the way. That’s the general idea.

Never mind that you still have a few good years before hitting the formal retirement age. No matter that the government is moving full speed ahead to increase the age of retirement. No matter that the talented young minds coming through can benefit from your wealth of experience.

That’s all dog shit. The talented young minds have talons. When they pat your back, you can feel the scratches as it tempers the epiblast right through to the dermis. And you get the message. This is a friendly pat with a difference.

It was Jonathan Swift who so wisely reminded us that everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old. It’s almost too long ago now to remember when I first heard this but still true to this day. Take it a step further.  Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. And nobody seems to realize that in our life's journey, no one has ever reached the finish line alive.

So why should I be surprised by this sudden onset of unwelcome knowledge? And why did I not notice it when just a few years ago I was probably also doing the scratching?

It has been a wonderful road of bumps and bruises, trial and tribulations and there’s still a hell of a fight left in this old tiger.

So, young guns sit up and take notice.  How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?

@agebarrier @agedworker @fitness @ageism @seniors @pensioner @jobsearch

Freedom isn’t free is a lesson for protesting South African students

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By Hilton Kolbe *

Student protests currently gripping capital cities in South Africa have been a catalyst for change since the mid 1970s. Cape Town and the University of the Western Cape have been no strangers to political unrest, campus shut downs and police brutality.

In 1973, students were boycotting classes and taking to the streets to protest against the Afrikaner government and its insistence on mandatory teaching of Afrikaans. Twenty years later monumental changes occurred and the student uprisings could be seen as the beginning of the end for apartheid.

Now in 2015, students are again taking to the streets in protest.

They are not boycotting classes because universities have shut the doors in a growing climate of violence and hostility. This time the protests are against the Zuma government and free university education for all. Will these events also signal the start of the end for the current political structures just as it did in 1973? That is hard to say. Probably unlikely given the current state of the Opposition parties, but the seeds of dissent have been scattered.

The national push for no fee increases for university education has been a thorn in the side for the government. Already President Jacob Zuma has backed down with angry students clamouring at the doors of Parliament in Cape Town. It was a time for strong men to stand erect but they all went limp.  Government should impose higher taxes on the rich to fund free higher education for the poor, Higher Education Minister Blade Nzimande said. “My own considered view is that government must have the political will to tax the rich and the wealthy to fund higher education. None of us must develop cold feet about the necessity of taxing the rich to fund our children.”

Instead, they agreed to halt any fee increases for this year. Wits University agreed not to increase 2016 tuition and residence fees, with an undertaking that the upfront payment of R9 340 for 2016 would be discussed further. But this was a dark day for the government who capitulated to student demands. It was a cowardly gesture of a government in denial to concede and bow to pressure from those barging at the doors of the lawmakers.

No matter what the circumstances, never concede to thugs and protesters who come knocking at the doors of Parliament seeking gifts. The system does not work this way. It only encourages every other group with a gripe or demand to take similar disruptive action. And to add further insult to fiscal injury, the Finance Minister Nhlanhla Nene was forced to delay his mini Budget briefing and MPs had to wait as police struggled to keep an angry mob at bay.

In a country where one in four people are without jobs, the cost of free university education is expected to knock a R2.6 billion blowout in capital expenditure; it is not easy to see where the funds will come from. South Africa is beset by a multitude of developmental problems and embezzlement of public funds. And, what is it that makes these Born Free students feel it is their entitlement.

If there is something that sticks in the craw about the so-called Born Frees, and by extension the rabidly obtuse Gen Exers with their sense of entitlement and ability to transform the slightest bit of adversity into an opportunity for grand reward, then it is the bold self-righteous way in way in which these vociferous young people go about staking out their claims.

The student protests have been marred by ugly scenes, police clashes and more sinister in many cases the momentum has been driven by participants armed with clubs and weapons. At the University of Limpopo at least 13 students were arrested as police clamped down on students accused of burning and looting at the campus. Students went on rampage and vandalised six cafeterias and a national outlet restaurant after the institution said it could not commit to their demands for free education.

At Wits students and security guards pelted each other with stones and   burly men in black suits throttled and wrestled students to stop them from disrupting classes. A bookshop and two vehicles were also set on fire in the early hours and access control mechanisms on turnstiles were ripped off.


The University of the Western Cape was also shut down until further notice after a group of students started rallying support for ongoing protest action across campus buildings and offices and demanding that staff leave the campus. Students preparing for exams were also disrupted.

 A statement  from UWC said the intensity of the action led to many staff and students feeling vulnerable and intimidated as some in the protest group wore balaclavas and had sticks and crowbars.

Meanwhile on campus, hundreds of students occupied the university’s Life Science centre where some of the demands, read out by student Busiswa Ngqamani. Demands included that all student debts be scrapped, that no students be prevented from graduating because of outstanding fees and that students should not pay any registration fees. 

Other demands included that students be able to register for the entire year in January instead of every semester, and that the university starts a process of buying houses in the surrounding community and make them UWC communes.  (Quoting IoL news reports)

Student leader Kamva Rubulana said that the president’s announcement of the zero percent fee increment meant nothing to the students as they were not fighting for the zero percent increment but for the fall of all fees.  “The only way we can stop this shut down is if the debt problem of UWC students can be resolved, he added. 

 Ngqamani, included that all student debts be scrapped, that no students be prevented from graduating because of outstanding fees and that students should not pay any registration fees. (Quoting IoL news reports)

These demands come from a privileged few who in the main have had a solid private education in some of the best schools that have enabled them to obtain a matric exemption and to enter university with the poshest of English accents. There is nothing wrong about that. But to demand free university education from a system that you have not contributed a single cent in tax is very wrong. 

So who has to subsidize these free loaders? A father of four children who makes his way by taxi van to his labouring job some 50km away and who earns subsistence wages and pays taxes will not be feeling too happy about the prospective doctors, lawyers, teachers and engineers demanding free education.

There was a time when the student protest movement sang revolutionary songs about freedom isn’t free, it is about time the Gen Exers realised this. Tertiary education is a privilege, not a right. 

 A much fairer and more equitable system would be a user pays scheme perhaps based on the Australian model of the higher education contribution scheme. Students wishing to study can accept State funding and have to repay the money when they start working and paying tax. By using the student’s Identity Number, they are hooked into a system that will allow them to study and pass or fail at their own cost. 

By the time they start out on their career path, the taxman will collect what is owed. This would be a much fairer scheme for all concerned.

It is difficult to locate any country in the world that affords students the luxury of free tertiary studies. Tuition fees at universities in Cuba vary between $US20, 000 and $US40, 000 depending on the university and the course of study. The good news is that this is the tuition fee for the whole course, not just for one year.

 Dr Kolbe is a writer and media commentator.

#South Africa student unrest

#kolbeh

#south africa protest

#ShutdownUCT

#fees protest

Tanzania global health education and research program an eye opener for WCMC-Q students

Ahmed Saleh and Lama Obeid knew what they were in for even before they left for Tanzania on a WCMC-Q global health program but they were still shocked by the lack of proper health care and limited access to medication, not to mention the constant threat of tuberculosis or malaria infection.

Both quickly learned that life in a largely impoverished developing country in Africa was very different to life in Qatar. But, despite the difference in quality of lifestyle, health care and culture, it was still an exciting learning experience they both enjoyed and they encourage other students to also participate in this rewarding exercise.

The two students from Weill Cornell Medical College in Qatar returned from a challenging global health education and research program in Tanzania determined to do more for the sick and poor in under-resourced developing nations.

Second-year medical students Ahmed Saleh and Lama Obeid spent eight weeks of their summer break in Mwanza, the second biggest city in Tanzania, where they worked at the Weill Bugando Medical Center. WCMC-Q’s Department of Global and Public Health sponsors two medical students every year during the summer break for a global health education and research experience.  This is the third group of WCMC-Q medical students to participate in the program.

Lama said the program offered exciting opportunities for medical students both in health care training and research opportunities as well as personal development. “You are very quickly exposed to a variety of issues and experiences and you are challenged in many ways not only with regard to medicine but also in the way that you live your own life. Most people in Tanzania are not as fortunate as we are and life can be difficult for them,” Lama said.

“I would suggest everyone, not just first-year medical students should make it a point to gain some form of a global health experience. It will completely change their perspective on medicine and how it is practiced. On top of the immense personal development, you will experience, you will also realize that no matter what your goals or interests are, there are lots of opportunities within global health to develop those interests and benefit a lot of people at the same time.”

Ahmed found significant health issues in Tanzania, as in most developing countries. “There is a lot that can be done to enhance the limited medical services that are provided in Tanzania and elsewhere. Health education is a key element. I believe it is our duty as medical professionals to limit the spread of infectious diseases by spreading awareness among the public,” Ahmed said.

“Being in an environment where resources are very limited challenges you in a way by limiting your options. This was a great learning opportunity as it teaches you how to look at things in different ways.  You have to come up with a diagnosis based on history and physical examination without having any modern testing modalities and this helps you to move a step higher in rationalizing your decisions and diagnoses,” Ahmed said.

For Lama, it was both an opportunity to observe at close range the treatment and effects of infectious diseases such as malaria and TB and other rare infectious diseases and a chance to experience the African traditions and lifestyle.

“Mostly we attended morning reports and then went around the wards with the doctors and the medical students, checking on patients and discussing their cases. We were exposed to a wide range of procedures, and we learned a lot of medical practice. Often it would be the sort of things you wouldn’t ever get to see because we come from a different part of the world,” Lama said.

“Tropical diseases were very prevalent and mostly in late stage because people cannot afford to visit the hospital often. The patients are manly poor and unable to buy medication. They rely mostly on traditional healers and herbal medicine, which is a big challenge modern medicine faces in such communities. Resources are very limited,” Lama said.

Weill Bugando Medical Centre is a large medical complex with more than 900 beds and four referral hospitals that serve the community needs of people living on the fringes of Lake Victoria and the western regions of Tanzania. It also serves as a consultant and teaching hospital for the region and draws on a catchment area of more than 13 million people.

The hospital is a partnership with the Catholic Church, the Tanzania Government through the Ministry of Health, the Touch Foundation and other partners in making sure that services at BMC are of good quality and that they are training competent health professionals.

Both students agreed that the global health program and the challenges that they faced have had a profound impact on them.  “It has definitely helped me a lot in terms of studies,” Lama said. “I learned about diseases that I would probably only be able to read about in text books here and I also got to see the debilitating symptoms of serious infectious diseases first hand. It also highlighted for me the differences between how medicine is practiced in more developed countries as compared to low-resource settings.

“I never imagined diseases like diabetes and hypertension would be as widespread and prevalent as they are in Tanzania. A lot of the patients on the medical wards had very advanced forms of these diseases, mostly due to the lack of primary care,” Lama said.

After his relatively brief global health experience in Tanzania, Ahmed said it has changed his perspectives on how medicine should be practiced and it has sparked a desire to become more involved with global health issues in his future career.

“This experience has definitely taught me a lot and has added to my understanding of many concepts. I have studied about many infectious diseases, but have never seen real cases with such illnesses, and I believe I would never see such cases in Doha or any other developed country. Being in Tanzania has exposed me to such conditions.

“This experience has changed my whole view of medicine and it has even changed my future career plans. Before I went to Tanzania, my main thought was to travel to a new country and to see how things are done in a somewhat different health system. But after being there for just two months, I became very interested in pursuing a career in global health as I realize now that there is a lot of work waiting to be done in developing countries.”

WCMC-Q Associate Dean for Admissions and head of the Global Public Health team Professor Ravi Mamtani said the program provided participants with an excellent foundation in global health treatment and clinical research in a part of the world where health care resources are limited and treatment options are challenging.

“These are experiences that you can only gain when you have been put in those situations. This kind of experience is not a substitute and it confirms that the WCMC-Q Global and Public Health department is succeeding in what it is supposed to do,” Professor Mamtani said

“You will not be able to gain that experience in Tanzania by sitting in Qatar or in the United States. It is an amazing experience for our students even though it is recognized that they are operating with limited resources. It all adds to a great experience in the practice of medicine and it sharpens their clinical skills.”